Nauja diena - a new day has started

It is good to start the day early,
to have some coffee just to maintain the habit :)
to be touched by the rays of the Sun
through your yellow curtains
And the first thing
in the morning - to see/feel

the light.
It's amazing!

With the bright mind
to start your work
(it's only 10.00,
but I've accomplished so much!)
and with the Spirit of Freedom & Peace
to live your life

"Because when we pass the trials, we will receive the crown of life!" (James 1:12)
------
"Palaimintas žmogus, kuris ištveria išmėginimą,
nes, kai bus ištirtas, jis gaus gyvenimo vainiką,
kurį Dievas yra pažadėjęs jį mylintiems."

Todėl stiprybės, stiprybės ir dar
kartą stiprybės mums visiems
išbandymų kely
ir atsiverkime Šventosios
Dvasios gydančiai ir mainančiai galiai!

Kaip gražiai ausiai skamba lietuviški žodžiai,
kaip gera skaityti lietuvišką Šv. Raštą!

Ačiū, Viešpatie, už saulę
ir atriedėjusį pavasarį (Olandijoje)
ir už tą beribę laisvę
kai gera tiesiog matyti žmogaus šypseną
ir nesugadinti visko
troškimu jį turėti...

Monique Bogaerts albumas.

Šypsena išdygo veide

Aš turbūt taip niekada ir nesuprasiu, kodėl man sekasi visame kame, tik ne meilėje.
Ir kaip man pavyksta pamilti ir mylėti tuos, kurie manęs nemyli.
Kartais kaip dabar jaučiuosi tikrai beviltiškai,
nes kai myliu, myliu ilgai,
o net nesuprantu, kaip galėjau šį žmogų
pamilti. Mes net bendrauti
tarpusavy nesugebam.

Aš labai pavargau.
Net nebežinau ar noriu artimo žmogaus.
Atrodo, kad gyvenimas
šaiposi iš manęs,
nors mano troškimas
labai žmogiškas ir natūralus,
vis persekioja jausmas,
kad esu vedžiojama
už nosies.

Melstis?
Melstis sunku.
Rinktis mylintį, bet nemylimą?
Jau daugybę kartų gyvenimas
teikė šią galimybę,
bet kažkaip norisi ir pačiai
mylėti.
Kada ši serija liausis?

Nuotrauka daryta Leimengo.

Savo saujoj

Išjungsiu mintis
Langą į pasaulį uždarysiu
Į tave atsigręšiu
Mums tiek daug reikia
pasikalbėti
Vašką ištirpdyti
Savo saujoj
Atnešk man pavasarį

A picture is from Monique Bogaerts album.

TIKRA

ATSIGULIAU
SAVIMI
MANE APGAUBKI
RAMYBE
UŽKLOKI
KAD PABUDUS RYTE
ŠVYTĖČIAU
KAIP SNIEGAS

Nida - kopos.

With understanding about understanding :)

My mother has a big social network. She used to have good relationships and go to saunas or beanfeasts with theHeads and Viceheads of companies.

Once of them, a successful and influential woman asked me then:
- Do you have a boyfriend?

(Let me explain :), in Lithuania starting from 13 years, it's the common question from relatives, neighbours and guests).

And then she told me: "It's good that you don't hurry. Just find someone who understands you."

Her words stuck in my mind because she married from love, but her husband used to beat her and otherwise humiliate her. After some time she divorced and is very happy with her second husband. That was the time she told me about understanding. I always kept it as a guideline in my relationships. Because passion can die, love? love, as I've seen from other people's and my own life does not ensure good relations and understanding.

And now when I'm already more experienced in girl-guy relation :), one evening I reflected "What is understanding?" There are different levels and different types of understanding.

So for my clarity I classified understanding into:
1. Mental understanding - sharing similar ideas about events, items or subjects. This type of understanding ensures that people are good discussion partners;
2. Experiential understanding - it comes through similar life experience, similar struggles;
3. Emotional understanding - it is understanding and supporting each other's feelings (happiness, sadness, fears, joys...);
4. Spiritual understanding - it is sharing spiritual experiences and understanding in the spiritual level (faith, values..).

If there are 4 levels of understanding, I doubt that all of them can be found in 1 person. So which understanding did she mean???

Gyventi kaip Madam Pompadour? / Our responsibility

God lets the sun shine to everyone
and the rain pour on every piece of the Earth.

He has decorated the Earth with beauty,
He designed physical & biological laws which ensure harmony & renewal
and He has created the necessary resources.

A human was meant to take care of this Beauty
& Harmony.
But the truth is that he (we!) is the only creation misusing
the Earth resources!

How did we come to this?
Because we (especially the people in
scientific, political and economical power)
never thought of the future
and that the Earth is the living system
which you shouldn't interrupt.

They just thought about themselves and today.

So what happened as a consequence?
We have used much more resources than we needed
The shortcome of natural resources is coming;
We have cut so many trees and destroyed the rain forests
which were so important to clean the air from pollution
and contained the species which now extinct or vanishing.
The hole in the atmosphere layer / ozone hole,
The global warming, which encouraged
so frequent and so strong
natural disasters.

We are blindly approaching to destroying the Earth
and ourselves.

Thus, it is our responsibility
from the beginning till now to take care of the Earth,
to nurture and not to destroy ourselves & other God's creations.

Let's not be Madams Pompadour,
let's awaken our consciousness!
there are things we can do every day
like using vegetable oil for cars
or driving environment-friendly cars
and so on...
I hope my words reached you...

A flood in Indonesia: www.delfi.lt

Iš kur tos simpatijos kiaulėms? / What's so special about pigs?

This year is called Red Pig year according to the Chinese horoscope.
Though in Lithuania we keep pigs in farms & use them only for meat,
I've noticed that pig is valued for much more.

In some countries it is common to keep a pig as a pet
because it is the second most intelligent animal after a dog.
That's why pigs are very susceptible to training.

In Lithuania we have an understanding of a pig as a very unclean animal.
That's why the expression "You look like a pig"
means untidiness.

However, a symbol of pig is different in other cultures.
I could clearly understand it when I was in England
long time ago and the hosting family
was collecting pictures and figures of pigs;
what is common in UK :)

The biologists say that pigs are very tidy if
you give them tidy environment :)

Maybe that's why they are being trained & loved
by people and participate in mode shows
as you see in the pic :)

Animal mode show in Kiev / Gyvūnų mados šou Kijeve: www.delfi.lt

Dėkingas nuovargis / The tiredness I am grateful for

Lengvas nuovargis
Uždėta spyna

Nevykęs uraganas
Palaida bala

Pasimetę žodžiai
Pilkose ląstelėse daina

Džiazuoja saksofonas
Nemirštanti padėka

Dievas - žmogus?
Ne ne ne!

Fotografė - aš.

Thursday & Friday / Ketvirtadienis ir penktadienis

Those were busy exhausting days...
But I understand that it can't be otherwise at this moment.

I thank God for all the opportunities He is giving,
It is also a big challenge,
costing a lot of my time & energy.

Yesterday all day I was busy preparing for the VCPO project,
all the communication with Sjoerd was in Dutch,
all the documents were in Dutch.

Today I got up at 7.00
and went to the internal VCPO meeting.
All the meeting was in Dutch.
I had to speak in Dutch and I was expected
to understand Dutch and the situation over the project.

Then I had to wait for Sjoerd,
so my breakfast was at 16.00 :)

I was so exhausted I couldn't join Kim for gym.

Wednesday

Accidentally Joe was online. So we talked just before I went to Robert's family. I miss him.

And then there was just one sentence from Robert's lips which caught me.

I needed to reflect and I understood what attracted me most to Joe.
Of course, he was there for me and with me. This was important.

And it was just so easy to be with him. When I look back, I think it is Joe's peacefulness & humbleness which made the quality of just being together.

He had big talents & still has :) , but he used them to serve. God bless you abundantly, Joe, as He already does!

By the way, I got a temporary babysitter's job in Robert's family.

God is trying to reach people

About a week ago there was a storm in Lithuania near the Baltic Sea Coast. So it went through Klaipėda (our port and the 3rd biggest city) and Palanga and damaged dunes and some people property.

Today it is raging in Great Britain, Germany and Netherlands. So, hold on all my friends!

Scientists already long ago told that the damage of the ozone layer and the greenhouse effect
would have dramatic changes.

They just didn't calculate it would come so fast.

You all probably remember the sensational frequency of hurricanes
in such a short period,
their magnitude,
the earthquakes and tsunamies.

Well, scientists relate the frequency and the raging strength
to the global warming.

Don't ask me to explain further :)

I remember from my lessons in Astronomy long time ago
that global catastrophes become tremendous
in the period of Sunspot
which occurs every 50 - 70 years.

I don't know if it is sunspot time now,
but anyway, that's not the message I want to share.

I have a feeling that through all these events
God is speaking to us,
God is trying to soften our hearts
and seek Him.

A pic is from News Yahoo.com

New Year with a new strength / Naujieji pradėti su nauja jėga

I am learning a lot about people, the world, God and most importantly, myself. Isaiah is wonderful, he is counselling me through e-mails, he is like my "Dvasios Tėvas" (Spiritual Counsellor? you call it here if you have it here :). I am fighting a lot in the Spirit, I am a strong rebel :) Those endless fights and sleepless nights, they exhaust me. Therefore my most favorite occupation beside reading a good book and thinking over it now is going to the gym.

It is a difficult time: no job, no money and everywhere in NL for HR position they ask good Dutch, I am not that good. So I need a lot of guidance and trust in the Lord where to begin and how to go this way.
It seems there is a contradiction between what I want for a job and what I am able to get. It all makes it difficult, hard emotionally and I get confused what kind of strategy to employ. It's a kind of a puzzle which is bigger than I, so I really need support from my friends which I so freely receive.
Thus, I pray a lot and contemplate upon the Bible's words. Finally I received an answer from Robert, we are meeting tomorrow. And "the mountains have moved" as we say it (kalnai pajudėjo universitete) in the university.
So, Sjoerd proposes to meet on Thursday and he will help me to "voorbereiden voor de sollicitatie afspraak". We both see that my Dutch is insufficient, but he is willing to give me a try and stands strong for me because I suit in every other way :) I am grateful to God for the hope which has risen again because I understood that at the moment I have very small chances to get a job connected to my profession in the companies.

My cousin Diana in Molėtai, Lithuania.

The nostalgia for a dance

When I see ballroom dance pictures and hear samba, salsa, rumba, chacha or tango music, it makes me want to dance!

I also used to dance earlier, not professionally, more for fun.
But I guess, dance is just in my blood.

I've read something about heart's dance
where you just dance for yourself
and from deep within.

And dance prayer,
I've read about this one too,
You can glorify God in many ways:
You can share all your sorrow and thanx
in dance as well...
---
Once I had a dream
that a girl is dancing, -
music is changing,
her evening dress is changing,
a dance partner is changing,
but the girl is still dancing
---
...I do dance still
when no one sees...

http://www.valsas.lt/naujienos.

Oh, this is nice!

I was just having my daily coffee and reading the news in Lithuanian sky (Naujienas Lietuvos padangėje :) when I came up with the Europe championship in ballroom dances.

The Lithuanian couple won the golden cup! It doesn't happen every day, so I just wanted to share with you, guyzz & girlzz!

The champions are Edita Baniūtė and Arūnas Bižokas.
Lithuania is very small in the number of people and doesn't have that rich facilities for developing good sport professionals, so it is nice that from these 3.5 million somebody is still "beating the world" ;)

www.delfi.lt - Day news.

The battle I failed = Pralaimėtas mūšis

I failed. But God is amazing, there is never the final judgement, not yet.
He lifts my face, washes the tears and helps to stand up again.

I try to say "Sorry". But it's too deep and He just puts His finger on my lips
and knows. He understands.

I already don't try to explain anymore.
I am out of excuses.

I lift up my eyes, Jesus is the stone,
I stumbled on
and I'll never be the same.

From my sister's trip.

One of those "No explanation" series :)

The doorbell woke her up.

"Come and learn from me..."

She opened the eyes. Where was she?

The image of the figures white-black like the chess was still fresh.

Doorbell. Ah, doorbell!

The slippers rushed downstairs.

When she reached the door, the steps were distancing.

She rushed out: "Hallo, ik kom van nummer 5."

The postman carefully looked and smiled.

"Echte studente, hey?", he had a confidential letter to someone who had left long ago.

"Ben jij Anouk van Assen?" - he asked.

"Gentle and with a humble heart..."

Her mind drifted away to reality and she shook her head.

She explained that she doesn't know anything

about this girl/woman? and apologized that she can't help in any way.

The postman regretfully smiled and said: "Wat als het is een heel bijzondere zaak?"

Yeah, what can you do? You can not transcend your limitations or can you?

The postman and the girl started walking to contrary directions.

Suddenly the girl stopped and from deep of the mouth you could hear: "Wait!"

The postman turned around.

The girl said she could call her flatmate and ask if she

by any chance had any contact with the needed girl.

"Hoi, met.."

"Hoi, weet jij iets over Anouk van Assen?"

Daar staat een brievenbesteller met een confidentieel briefje voor haar."

"Ja, denk ik. Ik moet haar e-mail hebben."

Oh, wat mooi! Bedankt!"

...

Tea was getting cold, but she liked it this way.

The letter was decorating the table and it was darkening.

One of these quite moments after enjoying sunset in a balcony...

The dream came out so clear.

They advise it is good to write down such bright and real-life dreams.

But she already knew.

She understood the meaning of the black

moving something and the white friend.

They fought a lot, until the cross came...

and the dark had bended the knees...

A picture is from my sister's memoir - Uzbekistan.

Tiesiog rašliava . Just...

This time I've brought
loads of books from Lithuania,
therefore, no beer ;)
I just love
reading good books,
I don't read,
I eat them
"ryte ryju".
Now I am reading
modern Lithuanian writer's book
"A witch and rain"
I have just started,
but it already captured me!

***
Dabar skaitau Ivanauskaitės "Ragana ir lietus",
ką tik grįžau iš Kim,
smagiai pasportavom,
gera pradėti Naujus Metus naujai.
Štai ir pradėjau su kasdieniu
sportiniu krūviu
ir sveika gyvensena.
Labai gera!

Ko tik žmonės neprisigalvoja? Unending human's imagination!

Tai, ką matote vyksta Kinijoje ir vadinasi vaikščiojimas ant vandens oro balionais :)
You see walking on water with the help of air balloons :)
It is in China.

www.delfi.lt

Learning a language

Learning a language is like climbing a mountain. You must be well prepared and have necessary tools as well as good fit, patience and strong will.

I love learning languages, but what I find difficult is that it takes soooo much time & effort until the observable result shows.

I have been learning Dutch on my own for a year and a bit. It was not my main task, I had to do it in my free time from Ma studies and social activities which I, of course, needed.

Dutch language was something I started very enthusiastically, but then I threw it away and then I returned to it again. If you ask me, of course, you can contemplate, "oh you could have tried more or you should have spent more time on studying Dutch",

but I think, I have made a big progress and I start feeling how some words and phrases should be used. Of course, the peak of a mountain is still far, but as I say, I have soaked up Dutch language. :)

A picture of my sister in mountains Phans.

An excerpt from the song

When I hear these words,

"I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And faith will give you courage to dare to do great things!"
a tear decorates my face
and I realize that
I have very fragile faith
and limited hope
for some of my dreams
...

A picture is from the mountains Fans:
my sister's journey.

Draw me close to You

Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I am a friend

You are my desire
Noone else will do
Because nothing else can take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You

Continuing the "red Christmas" series

As you see, my hair, thanx to my mom, became darker :)
My mother insisted on buying me clothes
expensive food for you & me, guys,
So I really felt uncomfortable
on how much money
my parents spent on me...

An expensive pleasure was underwater massage,
which in fact, sometimes was painful:
"you pay someone to make you pain!"
Interesting,ha?

It's nice to have a house with a big garden around, but you can't
imagine how long and tiring it is to look after all the property :(

Our renewed dining room. Ukmergė, 2006.

interested? :) I continue..

I missed my family.
Most of my time I spent with them.
So there is nothing interesting to tell ;)

We went to Zarasai, to the very eastern part of Lithuania,
very lake-y and park-y region,
visited the grave of my mother's grandfather,
next day we travelled to the Baltic Sea!!!!!!!!
I just love it:
the fresh fresh smell,
the amazing view,
I love it (recommended for all,
hurry till it's cheap for you, guyz!)
Had a nice seaside walk
all 5 members of the family ;)
(we and the dog).

Sorry, no pics, just video.

Update on my holiday in Lithuania

So, a bit of a diary form :)
My sister met me in the airport.
I was happy to see her and didn't prepare to cry.
But when she hugged me, she started crying,
so she infected me and the tears came down.

Then we walked a bit in Vilnius because
I missed my city!!!
Where you have Lithuanian salaries and European price housing!

Afterwards we came home to Ukmergė.
My mother (as always) met me
with nice food (this is the second thing I miss ;)

It was good to spend time with my family,
get acquainted with my sister's boyfriend
and my brother's girlfriend.
To my mind, they are too young for relationships :)
But what do I know?
So I just pray for their well-being.

I and our royal dog at my parents' house in my beautiful ;) Lithuania.

Kad galėč padėti į šoną..

Išties dabar rašau tai, ką rašau, kad galėč atsikratyti keliais popieriaus lapais, kurie intensyviai reikalauja mano dėmesio. :) Daugybė gerų ketinimų lieka neįgyvendinti. Dienos su naktimis lenktyniauja, o aš, rodos, nieko naudingo neveikiu. Vienintelis apčiuopiamas dalykas, kurį sąžiningai jau trečia diena vykdau, yra lankymasis sporto klube.

Naktys, nesugebančios nurimti, kankinančios iki paryčių. Juk visa turiu! Bet vidinėje kovoje aš pasiklydusi. Klaidžioju rūke nesuprasdama Dievo valios, o gal maištaudama, nes atrodo neįmanoma tai, ko iš manęs prašo?!

"Tačiau žmogui reikia meilės rytmečio, kuris pažadina begalybės ilgesį."

Neprašiau aš šito, ką davei. Šito neprašiau. Tačiau teisus yra kun. Paliokas remdamasis žymiais filosofais "Skausmas yra pažinimo ir veikimo principas".

Toliau "Baisiausia nelaimė, kuri gali atsitikti žmogui, - reikiamu laiku nepatirti meilės. Tada viduje pasilieka ta spraga, tam tikra tuštuma, kurios neįmanoma apibūdinti, tačiau ji visada yra, kai nežinia ko ieškoma ir nežinia ko nuolat laukiama."

Aš manau, kad Paliokas teisus ir tos tuštumos įtaka kur kas didesnė nei mes galime nutuokti ar suvokti.

Šis laukimas ir šis ieškojimas man labai atpažįstamas. "Tai ilgesys šilumos, kurios nebuvo, kuri nesušildė, tai nerimas, kad visiems esi svetimas, kad nebuvo nei vieno žmogaus, kuris savo meile būtų padėjęs pajusti, kad gyventi - tai būti laukiamam."

Ačiū Dievui, tokių žmonių buvo. Ir nuoširdus supratimas, kad ne visi žmonės moka dovanoti / tiesiog duoti meilę, nes patys jos negavo, labai padeda. Be to, atleidimas yra vienintelis kelias. Kiekvienas savaip reiškiame meilę ir svarbu tai gerbti ir priimti.

Anot, Palioko, šis nerimas yra šaltinis nejautrumo viskam ir visiems, netgi pačiam sau. Šis nejautrumas man pažįstamas, kai mylimi žmonės mane sužeidžia.

"Ir nemėgdžiokite šio pasaulio, bet pasikeiskite, ATNAUJINDAMI SAVO MĄSTYMĄ, kad galėtumėte suvokti Dievo valią - kas gera, tobula ir tinkama."

Viešpatie, visiškai išgydyk mane nuo nejautrumo sau ir kitiems. Išgydyk kiekvieną, kas šį straipsnelį skaitys! Amen.

Visa mano kambary / All around me

Ramybės apsupty
Visa mano kambary
apie meilę byloja.

Lovos rėmai buvusio kambarioko rūpestingumą antspauduoja,
Stalas, kolonėlės, kartu išprakaituoti tapetai vieno žmogučio mokymąsi mylėti išduoda
Todėl netyčia užmestas žvilgsnis į netobulą kaip gyvenimas sieną :)
primena tai, kas praėjo.

Lovos čiužinys - skolinta dovana iš mūsų Biblijos studijos indo,
kuris išvyko į kitą miesteliūkštį.
Kėdė nugarą džiuginanti Liudvikai "ačiū" kužda :)
Kabantis medaus angeliukas sesutės globą primena.
Šventųjų paveiksliukas Aušrai akį merkia.
Nesuskaičiuojama begalė atvirukų
Iš tiek daug nuostabių žmogiukų,
Kalendorius ir daugybė "aš" (be paaiškinimo)
tyrą indoneziečio meilę skleidžia.

Šie žmonės gyvi savo dovanose.
------
All my room is full of gifts.
The chair I sit on, the table I write on,
The bed I sleep in and many more...
No matter what the thing, it's not about the gift.
It's what they symbolize, what they remind me.
People's love and care for me.
These people are alive in their gifts.
...
Why am I so greedy for love?
Why are my days almost pure communication:
Just being for others and with others?
Probably in some corner of my brain :)
The answer is sitting and waiting to be found ;)

Puodeliūkštis arbatos / Een kopje van thee

Tave Ištroškusią Pagirdysiu
Vaivorykštės spalvom nusagstysiu
Tavo gyvenimą

Nealk meilės
Netrokšk savintis
Mano vanduo nesibaigs
...

Iš delfi kolekcijos

From a totally unappealing book: kun. Paliokas "Meilei pasibeldus"

It's a small old book, which would never catch your attention, laid next
to big, colourful, attractive books.
It is written by a Lithuanian priest and is called "When love knocks at your door".

I found his words wise, clarifying, and put in a simple way :)
Let me sort out what I want to share.
The all-transcending peace is embracing me
so I am ready to start :)

The author explains why first love is mostly unhappy.
The answer is that too early love does not lead neither to God, nor to happiness.

According to him, a person should cognize love and grow mature for love
(as for everything in this life :)

He says: "When love becomes god, it becomes demon."
I understand it as putting your love relationship and beloved in the first place,
and it means big expectations and big pressure
which can easily lead to cruelty and hatred.
Love and hatred go hand in hand
when we let our greediness and selfishness
control our thoughts and actions.

Thus, author continues:
"True love is a sacrifice, abdication of yourself,
which is contrary to egoism and self-love."

If everyone would be loving in such a way,
wouldn't it be heaven on earth?

Is this "true love" possible?
What do you think?

A pic. is from Monique Bogaert's album

Aš išgyvensiu ... I will survive...

My family, I guess, is just as many others.
I miss them, but 2 days with them is more than enough.
Sad, cruel? Yes, I know.
I do try, I do my best. I wish not to have heart,
not to be so sensitive, but I am.

It's so difficult to accept and understand that I
as many other children do not know what it is to be welcome.
I prayed a lot for them and myself.

What I see is that they are not bad people in general,
they can be very sensitive to the others,
but not to each other or us / children.

There is so much disrespect, anger,
shouting, blaming and criticising
every day
and so little
understanding, love and sensitivity to each other.

Devil is getting me through my closest people.
It can be so hard to pray at home.
I am weak. So I have rest and peace in my small
room in Enschede.
At the moment I have no "homier home".

04 01 2007

Su šv. Kalėdomis! Prettige Kerstdagen!

Pavėluotai sveikinu su aukščiausios Dievo meilės apraiškos švente - Kristaus gimimo švente.
Ir per Jėzų atkurtu santykiu / atnaujinta sąjunga su Dievu!

Greetings with the feast of the highest form of God's love - Christ's birthday!
And the restored relationship / reunion through Jesus with God!

A picture is from Monique's album.

Er moet licht komen \ Tebūna šviesa!

God zei" "Er moet licht komen", en er was licht.
There is nothing more powerful than God's Word!
He can lighten the darkest night!

Ir Dievas tarė: "Tebūna šviesa!" Ir šviesa pasirodė.
Nėra nieko galingesnio už Viešpaties Žodį!
Jis gali uždegti pačią tamsiausią tavo naktį!

Nuotrauka iš Monique Bogaerts albumo.