Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Lietuva, kurlink tu žengi? Where are you headed, Lithuania?


Po to, kai atgavome nepriklausomybę de juri 1989 m. ir nepriklausomybę de facto 1991 m., įvyko daug pokyčių.

After gaining the independence de juri in 1989 & independence de facto in 1991,
many changes occurred.

Lietuviai įgijo ekonominę, politinę ir svarbiausia, moralinę laisvę.
Nors dėl ilgalaikės okupacijos
ekonominis ir politinis išsivystymas buvo pakankamai menkas, lietuviai kilo.

Žmonės steigė verslo kompanijas, politines partijas ir rengė politines kampanijas.

Lithuanians gained economical, political & most importantly, moral freedom.
Thus, political & economical development because of the long year occupation was poor, people
rose up. Lithuanians initiatively created business companies, political parties & campaigns.

Per šiuos penkiolika metų Lietuvos ekonomika staigiai kilo, statybų ir kitokio pobūdžio verslo projektų skaičius augo kaip ant mielių, investicijos plaukė iš Lietuvos, Skandinavijos, Vokietijos ir kitų šalių.

During these 15 years economics of Lithuania boomed, building & other business projects emerged, investments from Lithuania, Scandinavia, Germany & other countries rapidly grew.

Tačiau šalia šio optimistinio vaizdo, realybėje daugybė mažų ir vidutinio verslo įmonių žlugo dėka iškilusių ir besipuikuojančių sėkme rinkos gigantų.

Besides this optimistic view, many middle & small enterprises bankrupted influenced by the rise & success of big companies.

Lietuvos užsienio politikoje buvo pasiekti užsibrėžti tikslai tapti ES ir Nato nare.

Foreign politics gained a lot by good collaboration with European Union & NATO & resulted in becoming members of these two organisations.

Vidinė politika sukėlė daugiau diskusijų ir nepasitenkinimų.
Politikai nuolatos įsisukdavo į korupcijos skandalus.
Jie ypač suaštrėjo pastaraisiais metais.

Politics inside the country however rose more debates.
Politicians from now to then are caught or suspected in corruption.
It especially increased during the last several years.

Savo išvadas pailiustruosiu delfi portalu. Kasdien atsidarius šį tinklapį, rasdavau arba naują politinį skandalą arba detales apie senąjį...

In these last years every week I open delfi portal, I always find either new scandal or elaboration on the old scandal.

Visuomenės apklausos ir kasdienės žmonių diskusijos atspindi žmonių nusivylimą politikais ir politika kaip savus interesus ginančio elito motina.

Interviews made by the research companies & every day people discussions reflect Lithuanians' disappointment with politicians & politics in general.

Dabar priartėjome prie "šios sriubos išsrėbimo" ribos, kuomet Valdas Adamkus pasiūlė išankstinį Vyriausybės formavimą.

So now we came to the point that president Valdas Adamkus suggests advanced Government elections as the current government turned to be too corrupted.

Gyvenant užsienyje išryškėja Lietuvos ir lietuvių bruožai, tiek tie, kurie man patinka, tiek tie, kurių siūlyčiau atsikratyti. Ir nors aš matau aktyvumą ir politinį išprusimą jaunų išsilavinusių žmonių tarpe, dauguma lietuvių vis dėlto, sakyčiau yra politiniai aliteratai ir pasyvūs piliečiai.

While living abroad it helps me to name & see clearer Lithuania's advantages & disadvantages.
And though I see initiativeness & awareness in young well educated people, the majority of Lithuanians is politically iliterate & too passive.

Mentalitetas "Aš negaliu pakeisti sistemos"vis dar egzistuoja, jis, aišku,
teisėtai susiformavo ir pasiteisino komunizmo laikais, bet dabar kiti laikai.
Pasikeitė laikai, laikas keistis ir žmogiukams.
Ir jų mąstymui.

I still see the mentality of "I can not change the system", which was true experience in communism, but now the times have changed. And so must people. And their way of thinking...

Didžiulė grupė senų žmonių ilgisi komunizmo santvarkos ir negali priimti demokratijos.
Girdėjau ne vieną senolį/senolę peikiant ir keikiant šiuolaikinę politinę sistemą...

There is a big group of old people longing for communism times, who can not accept & see the benefits not only of the political situation in Lithuania, but in democracy as such.

Paskutinis štrichas pabaigai: tokia mažutė valstybė it sala tarp banginių (Rusijos ir ekonomiškai stiprios Vakarų Europos), negali egzistuoti atskirai nepriklausoma nuo užsienio šalių įtakos. Buvusią priklausomybę nuo Rytų iškeitėme į priklausomybę nuo Vakarų.
Priklausomybę nuo Vakarų kultūros ir investicijų...
Ar neprarandame taip savo tapatybės?

The remark for dessert: such a small country as Lithuania, which can be compared to an island among the whales (Russia & economically strong Western Europe), can not exist separately independent from the influence from foreign countries.
The dependency from the East we traded now for the dependency from the West.
Now we are so much dependent upon Western cultures and Western investitions...
Have we already lost our identity?

Monday, May 29, 2006

The memories of the princess life :) (: Atsiminimai iš pasakos

































When I look through my pics, these two carry me away to the fairy tales... There are two points I liked in the fairy tales. The first one is that the strong moral values stand out, heroes sacrifize & fight for what they believe is right. The second thing that made me cry in childhood while reading fairy tales is that after all the trials "the heroes lived happily ever after..." I USED TO PICTURE TO MYSELF HOW WONDERFUL THE WORLD WOULD BE IF LIKE IN FAIRY TALES WE COULD LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER... But it is impossible since people have very much freedom & influence on each other & very often they/we use it for egoistic reasons...


Like in the famous Russian cartoon "The cat with shoes", manhood selfishness is very well illustrated while dividing treasure:
-To me, to me
-To Daniel
-To me, to me, to me
-To Daniel...

Funny? Or sad?

Happiness is of course, a very abstract word & probably, people put different meanings into it.
But as I reflect upon what I see & upon what many people shared with me in their times of sorrows, I dare to conclude that happiness is very much related to our social life: more specifically, to our relationships...

The priest & doctor of social studies Paškus, to my mind, very to the point defined modern society as "the society of broken relationships".

As a psychologist I can picture to you what happens. We have (if we are lucky) family, friends, groupmates, colleagues in work & mates of some club we attend.
I will not draw to you here the social circles in which these people fall to you.
But the thing is that THE CLOSER PERSON TO YOU IS, THE MORE HE CAN HURT YOU, SIMPLY BECAUSE HE HAS MORE INFLUENCE ON YOU.

So, family, close friends, boyfriends & girlfriends influence us most emotionally & behaviorally.
The pattern that is most prevalent is simple & also it captures us in the vicious circle.

The pattern is like this:

Person Agnes Person Martien
her expectations & beliefs his expectations & beliefs
towards their relation =/= towards their relation
/ \
mostly unspoken mostly unspoken
/ \
influence her behaviour =/= influence his behaviour

Let's take the simplest case now: usually what happens is that two people's expectations and beliefs about the same friendship or relationship are different. Then the partner's behaviour fails her or his expectations & beliefs, that hurts emotionally.

The vicious circle begins when it doesn't matter who made it first, but for example, Martien hurt Agnes, then as she feels hurt, she either consciously or not hurts him & he responds in the same way & it is never ending.

Thus, what I learned from my own & other people's lifes, hurting each other is inevitable. We do it even without knowing it. Of course, the degree & level of damage done differs.

What is beautiful about Christianity is that it offers ANOTHER WAY. IT STOPS THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF TWO PEOPLE DISTANCING FROM EACH OTHER.
It is powerful by introducing love & care for people as opposed to egoistic & egocentric motives of behaviour & teaching us to forgive.

Thus, after all, looking deeper, we can say that CHRISTIANITY IN THIS WORLD IS LIKE A FAIRY TALE: true Christian stays faithful to his/her values, fights for his/her values & finally overcomes all the obstacles & ... lives happily ever after in HEAVEN...

P.S. If you are interested where I have this pic from, guess which century or period in art history it represents & I will reveal the secret to you :)

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Broliams ir sesėms lietuvaičiams...

Labai laukiu Jūsų reakcijų į mano paskutinį straipsnį.

Tikiuosi, nepykstate, kad rašau angliškai. Esmė tame, kad noriu garsinti Lietuvą ir prusinti užsieniečius :)

O versti į lietuvių kalbą užtrunka per daug laiko.

Bet jei jūs pykstate ar nesuprantate angliškai, tiesiog brūkštelkite man, tuomet pasistengsiu... dėl jūsų...

The future of Lithuania? Lietuvos ateitis?


As I need some break from analysing company's learning disabilities, I will share with you my reflection on the article I have just read.

It is true that there is a trend for Lithuanians to seek luck outside Lithuania. After we gained our independence, big flows of Lithuanians migrated to Western Europe and the USA. During the last 5 years the statistics indicated 100 000-ds Lithuanians left the mother land and didn't come back. The interesting fact is that not only young people do this, but also married and middle aged ones. As the number of abortion increases, marriages as such decrease, the birthrate in Lithuania is already a problematic issue. The generation is getting older, the same as in NL and I've read it's the tendency in the whole Western Europe?

The department of statistics registered 7000 immigrants in the year 2005.
It is 1/4 more than in 2004.
The biggest number of immigrants is citizens of UK, Russia, Germany & Belarus.

There were 400 requests of refuge in 2005. Mainly it was from Afghanistan, Russia and Nigeria.

The fact that stroke me most is that we, Lithuanians, seek for fortune elsewhere while there is an increasing number of people who find our country attractive for economical reasons!!!!???

Let's go further... Noting all the mentioned facts & much more left in silence :)
what is there to expect?

The land a bit bigger than the Netherlands, last time when I heard, population of 3.5 million, of whom during the main flows to the UK, but also to Spain, USA & God knows where else, we could easily lose close to 1 million, the remaining part roughly talking includes lots of old people, also let's not forget that 20 % of Lithuanian residents are Russians, 10 % - Polish people.
With the increasing streams of the refugees & immigrants finding it cosy to live here, what should Lithuania expect???

In how many years Lithuania will be inhabited by more foreign than their own nationality people, ha??
That is my question...

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Aš rašysiu <> I will write


Now all my classes & assignments are over, though I am still waiting for the marks from the last assignments. It has been more than a month... really strange,,,
Of course, the biggest thing remains now: the final project: the biggest in terms of time & effort...
And still no matter how busy I am, something is missing in my life. I know now it is the need to write. The need to continue & finish my book, the need to put my thoughts on paper in the form of poem or prose...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Having fun with friends...




The sequence




In order...

Out of order...

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Vaikščiojimas vandeniu... Walking on water...

Something that I always wanted to do since my
childhood. Cool, ha?

It would be even cooler if you wouldn't see what's beneath water :)


Vaikščiojimas vandeniu - tai kažkas, ką norėjau padaryti jau vaikystėje.


Jėga, ką? Būtų dar jėgiškiau, jei nematytumėte, kas po vandeniu... :)

What is happiness?/kas yra laimė?



Trumpai ir į centrą. Kartais mes ieškome ne ten.

I will be short. You can fill the gap yourself ;) Sometimes we look in the wrong place...

Friday, May 19, 2006

Viena gera žinia ir viena bloga žinia...One good news & one bad news


The good news is that Lithuanian group "LT United" was elected to Eurovision finale. Lithuania finally got some recognition from Europe! :)

The bad news is that Lithuania didn't match the criterions needed to establish euro as a national currency in 2007. Thus, the conclusion is that at least 1.5 year is yet to wait for euro in Lithuania.

Vakar prisiminiau savo seną aistrą//Yesterday I remembered old passion of mine


Yesterday when I was at Anouk (the girl I look after, cha cha, it's more like we both look after each other :) I brought my book to study.

As usually when I start analysing and studying, at some moment the desire comes to create something.

Then I started drawing. I don't draw often in NL. But drawing what I drew yesterday, it's been ages since I've done that.

I designed garment & drew the whole girl with face & hair. Anouk said it is very beautiful & I should send it to the designer or smth :)

In my childhood I used to design lots of clothes (I mean to put it on paper), I liked to experiment with my clothing and style & I wanted to become a designer.

When my mother saw my models, she used to say it is impossible to make in reality (because she knows how to sow), so yesterday I called my drawing "mission impossible".

Those days are gone. I just sometimes wonder why God gives gifts with which you don't know what to do...

Monday, May 15, 2006

Sekmadienio simfonija tęsiasi~The symphony of Sundays continues


I have suffered enough in my childhood...

Now I cherish every moment of pure joy...

And... Pure laughter :)











Whole day spent in Nijmegen

Indonesian cultural event!

Dedicated to children without home & education...

Sekmadienio simfonija~The symphony of Sundays


Saturday, May 13, 2006

The last one for today...


Remember the post "Where does it start & where does it end"? I hinted a question there about the beginning and end of terrorism...

Ok, so as everyone should serve God with his own talents & gifts & not compare oneself with the others, this is what I will do.

At least in my case I can nicely use what I have learned from the studies to honour God...

So what I learned is that aggression always starts inside ourselves.
It comes from Ego (our egoism). And given the power it becomes terrorism.

Ego always wants to take, not to give. Ego is always unstable & insecure. Ego is the one who worries about our self-image.

Probably that is why the Bible teaches us to be humble: to reduce the impact of our Ego?!

As only then we become able to give instead of take, to ask instead of demand, to say sorry instead of accuse the other...

Dedication to rain


I will be short: some interesting connections from the writer's heart...

Rain is like a sky, crying together with you...

Rain makes you see things clearer...

Is it difficult to forgive?..


Hey, there is no formal school, teaching us how to forgive... Sometimes I wish there would be one :)
... It can be difficult to forgive, I have seen and have heard how not being able to forgive destroys friendships, relationships, ruins families... I see how not being able to forgive builds wall between people who used to be close...

I want to share with you what my friend wrote that really stroke my way of thinking!!!
She said: "It is very easy to forgive when you stop thinking how much it hurts for you & start thinking how much it hurts for the other..."

Take a look at the new generation shoes...







Funny, ha? :)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The story with the windows continues :)

And talking about the windows, it is funny: today two window painters climbed through my kitchen window.

I was making coffee for myself so I asked if they would like something to drink.

Then I had coffee with them and practised my Dutch :)

The conclusion was that "Nederlands is een mooi land met vriendelijke mensen als zij." :)

P. S. Ik hou van mensen die genieten in leven. Ik hou van mensen die lachen en glimlachen elke dag.

Through what window do I look at the world?


Through what window do you look at the world?

Monday, May 08, 2006

In Your Arms...


... Such a feeling of "light & good" in my heart... Today.
There is so much to have joy in. So much to enjoy in life. In my life. In your life.
But what gives most of joy, is really very simple & actually it is what we take for granted.
For me it is being with my friends. Simply taking care of each other. Unexpected & interesting ideas, actions, jokes... The creation of common language, which only friends can understand. Remember 'chocoholic'? ;)
It is being amazed in the perfection of God's creation, it is stopping to smell the cherry tree and observe the flying dove...

But why then do we complain so often? Why are we so fast to forget what is good & why do we let joy pass away so easily?
Why does the hurt stick in our hearts & it is so difficult to forgive? Why do we fall in despair?
Why do we feel low self-esteem? Why are we spo dependent upon each word that is said and each action that is carried out?

We lose our value & dignity so easily probably because we don't know or we forget that we are God's children, you & I...
That Lord loves us unconditionally & forgives us million times when again and again we hurt His tender heart. And He protects us even when we turn away from Him...

Jesus says: Whoever says that he has me, but walks in darkness, he lies. The one who has me, walks in light.
I don't remember the exact coordinates :) , but those verses invited me to contemplation, that is why I put them in my diary.

It has been some time since I have been contemplating & growing in understanding about spiritual war. Of course, I have experienced a lot of it. But I've learned that it is difficult to distinguish the start of spiritual war. The coming of darkness. When you identify it in the beginning, you can conquer it more easily. If you don't, the darkness will absorb you more and more. That's why I thought it was meaningful to share my discoveries with you.

I tell you, even when I came into faith, there were many moments I still walked in darkness... What is darkness then? I experienced that it is a state of mind. It is disappointment, sorrow, grief, hatred. All the negative thoughts, it is losing belief that it will be better, that God is above all in control. It is tiredness & giving up. It is everything that brings us down.

Today I have listened to teachings about spiritual warfare by Soul Survivors. Finally every piece of the puzzle went into its place! :)

Yes, Jesus has rebuilt our relationship with God, our ruined relationship & gives us light...
Brings us into light. What is light then? The same as darkness, it is a state of mind. It is inner joy instead of grief, it is hope instead of despair. It is true freedom from sin. It is real love & care.

But it doesn't end with Jesus' sacrifice. We live in a constant relationship with objective & spiritual environment. Our state of mind constantly alters & changes in various ways. Darkness hates light. That is why demons attack us. The kingdom of darkness is strong & knows our most painful wounds.

Thus, the scenario is the following: darkness continuously attacks us. Most of the time we don't even realize what is happening. Devil acts very simply, but geniously: he starts with throwing negative thoughts, usually it is lie well mixed with truth & grows a feeling of low self-esteem & helplessness in us. He prompts us to sin & abandon our precious Abba.

It is said in the Bible: "The devil comes to steal, kill & destroy". It is true. When he sows a seed of doubt, fear & worthlessness, he returns us to the kingdom of darkness which has no hope. Where neither faith, nor love live.

But our amazing God has prepared weapons for us. They are elaborated in The Bible under the title: "Spiritual warfare". I can testify the power of His weapons with my and other Christians' lifes. But it is most important to identify the coming darkness & pray. To stand firmly on God's promise. To pray out loud & darkness must flee. Darkness will flee for it is written so in white & black!

It is what happened to me today. And not only today. In Jesus name, Amen.

Apsupki šviesos karalyste/surround me with the kingdom of light


Taip šviesu ir gera širdy... Šiandien.
Gyvenime yra tiek daug kuo džiaugtis. Mano gyvenime. Tavo gyvenime.
Ir daugiausia džiaugsmo suteikia tai, kas labai paprasta ir savaime suprantama. Buvimas su draugais. Paprasčiausias rūpinimasis vienas kitu. Netikėtas pasiūlymas. Pokštai. Savos kalbos sukūrimas. Atsimenat "šokoholikas" ir "ravėjo ravėjo kol išprotėjo"? :)

Tad kodėl taip dažnai skundžiamės ir liūdime? Kodėl taip greitai pamirštame kas gera ir džiaugsmas mus apleidžia? Kodėl prisimename kas bloga ir knaisiojamės tame iki begalybės? Kodėl taip lengvai puolame į neviltį ir jaučiamės beverčiai? Kodėl taip priklausome nuo kiekvieno pasakyto žodžio ar atlikto veiksmo?

Lengvai prarandame savo vertę ir orumą turbūt todėl, kad pamirštame arba nežinojome ir nežinome, kad esame Dievo vaikai, tu ir aš... Kad Dievas mus besąlygiškai myli ir visa atleidžia bei saugo...

Šventajame Rašte parašyta: "Kas sakosi turįs mane, bet vaikšto tamsoje, tas meluoja. Kas turi mane, tas vaikšto šviesoje." Tai Jėzaus žodžiai. Nepamenu tikslių koordinačių :) , tik žinau, kad šios eilutės privertė mane susimąstyti, todėl įrašiau jas į savo dienoraštį.

Jau kuris laikas mąsčiau ir augau suvokime apie dvasinę kovą. Aišku, kad ją išgyvenau ne kartą, bet vis dėlto ją sunku atpažinti. Todėl pamaniau, kad prasminga pasidalinti su jumis savo atradimais.

Iš tiesų, jau kai įtikėjau, gana dažnai vaikščiojau tamsoje. Kas gi yra ta tamsa? Manau, tai dvasinė būsena: tai nusivylimas, skausmas, liūdesys. Visos neigiamos mintys, nesitikėjimas, kad bus geriau, nuovargis ir pasidavimas. Visa tai, kas mus traukia žemyn.

Šiandien klausiau pamokymų apie dvasinę kovą ir visa taip aiškiai susidėliojo į savo vietas.

Taip, Jėzus atstatė mūsų santykį su Dievu, mūsų sutrupėjusį ir suirusį santykį ir suteikia mums šviesą. Kas yra šviesa? Vėlgi, tai yra dvasinė būsena, kaip ir tamsa. Tai yra džiaugsmas vietoj liūdesio, ramybė vietoj nerimo, viltis vietoj nusivylimo ir beviltiškumo.

Bet tuo visa nesibaigia. Mes gyvename santykyje su realia ir dvasine aplinka. Mūsų dvasinė būsena pastoviai kinta. Tamsa nekenčia šviesos. Ir todėl demonai vis puola mus. Tamsos karalystė yra stipri ir žino mūsų skaudžiausias žaizdas. Todėl tamsa nepaliaujamai atakuoja mus. Ir dažniausiai mes net nesuvokiame kas vyksta. Šėtonas ima mėtyti neigiamas mintis, skatina mumyse nepilnavertiškumo ir menkumo jausmą, skatina nusidėti ir tolti nuo Viešpaties.

Šventajame Rašte parašyta: "Šėtonas ateina vogti, žudyti ir sunaikinti."
Taip ir yra. Kai jis pasėja mumyse abejones, baimę ir nieko vertumą, jis grąžina mus į tamsos karalystę, kurioje nėra vilties. Kurioje negyvena nei tikėjimas, nei meilė.

Bet Viešpats mus nuostabiai apginklavo ir paruošė dvasinei kovai. Tai vėlgi yra parašyta Šventajame Rašte ir tai galiu paliudyti savo ir kitų krikščionių gyvenimu. Bet svarbiausia atpažinti atsėlinančią tamsą ir melstis. Tvirtai stovėti ant Viešpaties pažado. Ir tamsa pasitrauks. Tai atsitiko man šiandien. Ir ne tik.

Todėl, kaip sako amerikietė šių laikų evangelistė Angela: Viešpatie, kur tik beeičiau, siųsk savo angelus man priešaky!!!

"Wherever I go, Lord, send your angels before me!!!"

_______________________________________________________

It is written in the Bible: "Whoever claims that he has me, but walks in darkness, he lies. The one who has me, walks in light." These are Jesus' words. Sorry, I am not good in numbers, so I can't tell you the exact number of the passage, but what matters is that I am rich in the Spirit. Thank You, precious Father!

And at least for me, it holds true, that wisdom comes through suffering. I picture it as a tree. Suffering is the roots, environment is the ground, sun & rain is God, the growing and shaping body of the tree is me, the blossoms & the leaves are the fruits of the Spirit...

A picture is done by me with a mobile/that's why it is not that sharp :)

Monday, May 01, 2006

Gyvasis vanduo-the living water



***




CoMe









&





BeComE






***

Gyvasis vanduo-the living water

The Living water
You say
Will never know a thirst
The one who drinks
The one becomes
Out of the deep
Sprinkles
Appears
Bursts
Floods
And covers the
Earth
The stream
Which became rebelious mountain river
Which became calm Mississipi
Which turned into ocean
You whisper
You say