Return home / Sugrįžti į save

It is natural to experience pain,
It is human to feel lonely,
It is ok to fear and be weak,
There is nothing shameful to love,
To love is healthy & beautiful.
This is how we are created
And we have to accept it,
That's why we need God.
"As you go deeper into your heart,
You go deeper into the heart of God,
Because Jesus is there."
Come home and you will find much more Than you think you are looking for.....................

A picture is shot by Neringa: Opera House in Sydney.

Information sponge and idea generator

"A building collapsed in the centre of Vilnius. Massive fires in the most profitable region of Vilnius where the gypsies live. Iran's sanctions and threats.

Situation in Israel and Palestine. Curdish part of Iraq ensuring peace. High quality education in Lithuania and high level of literacy.

The invidious situation of asylum seekers in NL. Earthquakes in Japan. Improving policy for LT students studying abroad and privilegies for middle-class in LT.

Stroomstoring in Haaksbergen. The ship stuck in Germany. The corruption incidents are coming into surface: the neverending stories in press of LT.

Preparation for establishing euro in LT since 2009." Business ideas. Looking for my place and my strengths. Searching for value I can bring. Seeking for meaning. Starving for new information and absorbing it like a sponge.

Reflecting on social, political, economical and biological events. This is what I am, this is how I go through life. Information sponge and idea generator. My strengths become my weaknesses when I can't stop them, when I can't close the door to input and turn off the thoughts as the switch.

The picture of sponge. It's sponge noumea from www.scuba-equipment-usa/com/marine/SEPO4

The stolen bike industry :) / Vogtų dviračių imperija

Some time ago my bike was stolen. No worries, it's a common thing :)

Several days ago I've reported it to the police because my friends have told that I can buy the bike somehow cheaper then. I was wondering how can that be, because the salesperson does not care that my bike is stolen, he wants the same profit as from anyone else. Hm, I thought, does municipality or some other governmental institutions cover a bit my costs? And then my flatmate told that police has "fiets kijkdagen" (bike watching evenings) where they gather all the found bikes and you can check if one of them is yours. If not, you can also buy one of those stolen bikes from police at the lower price!!!!!!!!!! It was very strange to me because it's like supporting/spreading the crime. But this is not the first time I hear about the stolen bike business.
Stories from lips to lips show that many bikes which are stolen are sold to second-hand home-shops or some persons directly. So yeah, you never know whose bike you are riding when you buy it from second-hand shop or police!! :) No offense, guys, I have only one conclusion in my head, "the stolen bike industry rules in the kingdom of tulips". :)

The picture is from www.fotosearch.com

Lovely - Meilutis

It's for you, Cha! :)

One of my dreams in my childhood was to work with animals
in the national park (Africa or Australia)

like biologists do: just live with wonderful creatures
and surrounded by magnificent nature

or later dolphin therapy appeared
I thought it was also nice
to work with dolphins and people.

I don't have these dreams anymore,
but I still love nature :)

A picture is from www.delfi.lt

Tai, ko prašai / be careful

I 've reflected today that we often don't know what we ask for.
We don't know what comes in one package,
So sometimes it can be difficult to accept when you get your package :)

For instance, I asked some time ago for love,
But together with love comes vulnerability,
I didn't ask for it :)

We sing "And let me live in the glory of your grace"
Beautiful words, but do we understand what we ask for?
What does it mean to live in the glory of His grace?

Today I realized that it means that
There is less & less of you
And more & more of Him:
It means that there will be many situations
Where you will experience your own powerlessness
And the only way will be to trust in God!!

I will be honest, it is VERY DIFFICULT for me to be in the situation
Where I feel powerless & the situation is inescapable & it all seems hopeless...

More of Vilnius through my soap-camera.

Bring everything before God

One day - you are in your deepest low,
Another - in your highest peak.

That's what happened to me.
Yesterday I had a meeting with
The project leader
Who is "sitting in his own ideas"
And never understands you.

For me he has a good excuse:
"ik begrijp jou niet, ik begrijp
jou niet.." You can imagine how desperate
& impossible collaboration with him
becomes...

Somehow all the others understand my imperfect Dutch
and say that it's a big achievement in 1,5 year!

But today I've had very inspiring & valuable interviews,
received royal breakfasts with rose :) during IOB'ers intervision/seminar in human words :), had a fresh walk in Hengelo and admired blossoming magnolias & cozy houses. When I returned in Enschede, I found that my bike was stolen, but ok, I don't make a fuss about it. It was a beautiful & good day & I was literally lifted up in a way Dutch treated me.

How important it is to bring everything in prayer!..

Royal breakfast / Karališki pusryčiai

...
Dovanomis rankose nusvirusi
Karališkais pusryčiais apsunkusi
Pėsčia
Žygiuoju namo

......

My!! Vilnius through my eyes.

The killing phrase / Užmušanti frazė

Halfly dead, halfly alive
Doing impossible
Observing myself from the side
"Hello, challenge lover,
there are limits for everything.
Is this your cup of tea?"

"Ik versta jou niet"
& nog een keer
"Ik versta jou niet"
The killing phrase: mischien probeer maar harder!

Writing at the academic level
IN DUTCH
gewoon omdat het moet
ongelooflijk
dat het leesbaar is

Voor elke afspraak
Diep adem inhaal
Er is niks meer te doen

Rare klanken
Breaking my tongue
Eyes looking over the horizon
Naar Engeland of Ierland
Of ?.. VSA?

Untracable link.

Warm inside... / Vidinė šiluma

I open my eyes. Someone stares. Stands at my bed and doesn't move though he sees that I am awake. But the glance is comfortable, is close, is caring & dear.

- What's your name? - I ask. He pulls the flowers hidden behind his back & puts into my hands:

- You called and I came. I am dream. -

Ačiū/thank you, - I said and smiled, - You were fast...

- Wasn't busy these days, - he answered. - Not many clients :)

I smelled the flowers. Fresh freesias. Aromatherapy - a woman's friend. The small free pleasure in life. She closed her eyes and not a moment passed till she was running in the meadows surrounded by blossoms and sounds... Why? Because the joy in the heart had to jump out! Why? For the reason of running! She was breathing every smell of the spring, recording every sound of the earth. She opened her eyes: her room was empty, but it felt as it is enough. It still felt she is not alone.

Based on some big & small events in my life. :)

Papparazzi is Cha.

Jei atvirai / to be honest

If I am honest, I just want to enjoy life...
However, it's impossible to enjoy every day,
it's uneasy to accept the ongoing difficulties,
but I will focus my eyes on God and on the good.
So,
I thank God for all the happiness He is giving me,
for friendships which brighten my day
and for the sincere smile which decorates my face!
&
I feel, I should be able to thank for the challenges,
but at this moment I can't.

A picture, "shot" by Joe during Arun's final presentation.

A balance / pusiausvyra

I find more & more how important
the balance between work & prive life is.

So, let's be careful guys & not burn out!
There's a danger of becoming 4-feeted like this chick :)

Stop kadras: www.delfi.lt

? !

The paradox: this is real!
It just gives me an idea that
there is so much beyond our perception & imagination!

Enjoy! :)

A picture is from www.delfi.lt "daily pictures" file.

I hate saying goodbye / nelemti atsisveikinimai

And here it goes again, everyone is making pictures
(they ask me to join - I have no clue why),
The hugs, the blessings coming out of the mouth,
The neverending "Friends" - the juice has left my tongue,
My friend says:"You are strong, I am ashamed to cry
in the public, but tears just come."

And I tell her:"I am not, there is no shame to cry,
It means we are still humans :)"
And if (she) has held me longer in her hug,
you would have noticed water on my face,
it was coming, I felt it at the back of my throat.

A picture was done by Kobby, again I don't know why they want to "shoot" me.

Sharing what I've read / Dalijimasis vertingais skaitiniais

"Bring your body home"
& "Enter the new country" Henri J. M. Nouwen advises.
He is the famous Christian Dutch writer.

"You have never felt completely safe in your body. But God wants to love you IN ALL THAT YOU ARE, SPIRIT & BODY. Thus, you need to befriend your body.
HOW DO YOU BRING YOUR BODY HOME?
Simple: By letting it participate in your deepest desire to receive & offer love. Your body NEEDS TO BE HELD & TO HOLD, to be touched & to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied or repressed. BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP SEARCHING FOR YOUR BODY'S DEEPER NEED, THE NEED FOR GENUINE LOVE."

And again:

"You have an idea how the new country looks like. Still you are very much at home in your old country. You know the ways of old country, though you see that you can't find there what YOUR HEART MOST DESIRES. You realize you must enter the country WHERE YOUR BELOVED DWELLS. That requires the death of influence, success, affection & praise.
TRUST IS SO HARD, SINCE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FALL BACK ON. Still, TRUST IS WHAT IS ESSENTIAL. The new country is where you are called to go, and the only way to go there is naked & vulnerable."

A picture is from www.usefilm.com

-----------

Why? - in the darkness I shout. I listen and just the echo I hear. The wind dancing in candles. When will it end? - how to code that my heart shifts its face to someone who longs for me? She is like the child always choosing wrong, I forgive her, but I am tired. Don't remember otherwise, just the eyes demanding, just coming to take, has anyone asked me "what do you need?"

Blessed are you, whose mutual love grows out of friendship.

The load of tears / Ašarų našta

It is HEAVY
to pray
for someone
who causes
your tears

they burst more
than it shows
they blossom
it's spring

LOVE?
don't want no more

A picture is borrowed from www.orai.lt

An inspiring interview

"When you talk about empowerment and team facilitation, you all glow up." - said Lilliane.

There were two women interviewing me.
Lilliane really liked me, but she thought there was no space for me
to do what my passion is in DSM.

I could have never imagined that in a job interview a manager would start suggesting you other companies and giving their websites!!

In every job interview they are not very creative, they always ask the same: your competencies, your career plans, what you have learned from your previous job experiences...

They are very predictable, just the answers to these questions are "lastig". :)
But this interview was different:
Lilliane inspired me by helping to verbalize
"my field of passion."
and encouraging to start from it!

She said: "I have no doubts you would do well
in our company, you have the right attitude,
but why not go for what you love most?
Dutch language shouldn't be a problem.
Just try!" - she said.

A picture by me: I am getting predictable myself: my beloved Vilnius.

I am opening up / Aš atsiveriu

One click: I switch off the thoughts.

"I love you," - my sister finishes every talk,
The heart warms up
And brightens the day.
It is good to hear this shabby phrase,
It gives me the reason to stay.

The cathedral in Vilnius with my soap-camera :)

AlLoW / LeIsK

Allow.
A tear to roll.
Allow.
Yourself to fall.
Down on your knees.
Humble.
Accept.
I will come.

"In my Father's house
there are many places."

A piece of Vilnius by me.

Kova (ne mūšio lauke)

It elnė medžiotojų pabaidyta

Išsigąstu ir sprunku

O jis laukia
...
It kareiviai apsupa mintys
"Ei, tu, pasiduok!"

Nuginkluoja jo žvilgsnis
...

The black swan: a rare species. Nice that Joe could find her in Holland!